No choices.

I feel like a child saying this, but none of this seems fair. All of the choices left to me are non-choices forced upon me by my situation.

I hate that I'm a more-than-competent worker but can't get hired because nobody knows me. Because I have no "real world" experience. Because the economy is hurting.

I hate that I have to have money to live where I want and be with my SO.

I hate that I can't do what I want for a living because it's not a "stable" job. Or a well-paying one at first. Or ever. Potentially.

I don't like that I don't get these choices.

It's bad enough that I think doing 5th year was a horrible idea for me. I wasn't ready. I don't care about it. I regret the hell out of deciding to do it. And in the end, I don't think I'm going to be worthy of the piece of paper I'll get out of it.

I just feel like anything that matters to me as a person doesn't matter to the rest of the world I live in. That you just have to bullshit your way through life and you can't ever be really happy, you just have to find happiness where people will LET you. That's pretty ridiculous, but that's how I'm feeling right now in this angry and probably immature moment.

I don't want to just exist in the system. Especially when it seems so flawed.